Letters to Our Boys

A couple of weeks ago the Staff Women of Campus Outreach took me out to dinner to celebrate our adoption. I love being with these women. I always leave our time together encouraged, refreshed, and wanting to hang out more. I knew that our time together this night was going to be how it usually was but for some reason felt a little uneasy about it during the day. I'm not sure if it was something I ate or nerves but my stomach was in knots all day. When asked if I was excited for the night I responded with a yes but also wanted to say that I didn't know how I felt about it. It felt weird going to a "shower" with the uncertainty of children. This was before we had received our court date and we still thought we would be waiting at least another 3-6 weeks until we received word. As I said in an earlier post receiving the court date was the first time this adoption has become real real for us. Needless to say I was a little nervous about the shower. I felt weird and almost selfish asking people to gather and bring money together for children that I wasn't 100% positive we were going to have. At the end of the night I realized all of these emotions and feelings were wrong and there was no reason for me to be sick to my stomach that day. God is in control and this night helped me realize just that.

After dinner we went back to one of their houses and had dessert. I noticed all of them taking turns going in and out of the laundry room. They were trying to be sneaky but it was hard not to notice, especially as people stared at me and smiled as they entered the room. Well, i knew it wasn't a laundry party and just figured they were signing a card which is usually what we do at showers, birthdays, etc. Little did I know the surprise they were going to bring me. (Tears just started flowing as I wrote that last sentence) Anyway...

After we had dessert and talked for a little bit they brought me a big basket full of goodies! It had handmade blankets, sippy cups (if that's how you say it), a jar full of money, and two journals labeled with an A and an E. As soon as I opened the journals I saw letters written to the boys. I immediately closed the journals and put them back in the basket as tears welled up in my eyes. I told them I was grateful but would not be able to read those in front of anyone. The letters were full of prayers and excitement and you could see the love they have for our boys. I am thankful for these women, their love and encouragement in our lives, and the joy they will bring our boys one day. Here are what a couple of the letters said...

Abram,

You are a blessing from God for your mommy and daddy. You will fill their lives with laughter and joy and have been a prayed for gift! We hope you will carry on the gospel heritage of your parents! Love,

Ellis,

I cannot wait to meet you and watch you grow! you are going to have so much fun being a Wells! I love you already and have been praying for you. Love,

Abram and Ellis,

I hope you know that you are loved and cherished by so many people! We have and will continue to pray for you. I cannot wait to watch all

that God will do in your life and where he will take you, I pray that you will put your trust & hope in Christ as your Savior. We love you,

We always liked the saying it takes a Village to raise a child and we are very thankful for the "village" God has blessed us with. The boys will be leaving a village but coming to another full of love, laughter, and joy!

The Court Date

Getting a court date is one of the most exciting days and things you wait for in the adoption process. Throughout the entire process you do paper work, you wait, you get excited because something goes through, then you do more paperwork, do more waiting, and then you get excited for the next thing to happen. It's the cycle of adoption, you love it and you don't love it. It's fun getting excited but then weird when the emotions settle down and you realize you are once again waiting. Up unto this point I've known that this adoption is going to take place and that very soon we will be the parents of two beautiful boys, but nothing has made it feel more real than receiving a court date.

When thinking about getting a court date it's almost like you're expecting this huge ceremony with cake and balloons and all of your friends to be there and the agency to send you a box with roses and a certificate saying you've arrived. But that was not the case. It was one of the most nonchalant announcements we've ever received. But I loved it exactly the way it came.

I had just gotten home from running, or meeting with a girl on campus or something, came in and sat down on the couch. Tony and I were just talking while he was checking things on the computer and all of a sudden he throws a fist pump in the air and shouts, "We have a court date!" I was so surprised that my first and typical reaction was to laugh and then ask him to repeat what he just said. So once again he says, "We got a court date babe!" I was slightly confused and then asked him what happened and when is it and then he showed me the email. The email makes me laugh because of it's simplicity about a subject to complex to comprehend. The subject line simply says, "Your Court Date" and when you open up the email says...is April 4. Please make arrangements accordingly. I love that. Such a big ordeal in such simple words. Needless to say after we got the email both of our personalities showed. Tony was running and screaming all over the house and outside of the house, while I sat on the couch with a big smile on my face and thought about who to call. Having a court date and buying plane tickets is one of the most exciting times I can remember in my life. But it's also one of the most scary times I can remember. It means this is REALLY happening and within a couple of months we are going to be the full time parents to Abram and Ellis. We could worry or be anxious but God has really blessed us in just being able to wait. To wait and pray and know that we're going to love them and that this was his plan all along. Some scriptures that I have been clinging to during this time are:

Romans 8:28, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Phillippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Isaiah 12:2-3, "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation. With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation."

It is because of the goodness, the glory, and the grace that God's poured into my life through his son Christ, that I know any and all situations will work out for good. My joy will come from the wells of salvation with which I can draw water (life, refreshment, substance and nourishment). Because my joy is from the Lord I can wait patiently and know that His will and timing are perfect and I have no need to worry. During this time of waiting and when they get here He will be my strength and my salvation!

The Queen of Sheba

For Valentine's Day Tony surprised me with a Bed and Breakfast in New Albany and took me to dinner at the Queen of Sheba in Louisville. (I have a wonderful husband.) It was fun getting to have a "traditional" dinner in a traditional setting. We sat in a secluded part of the restaurant around a huge basket with a cone shape bottom for a table. It smelled delicious but when we opened the menu we had no idea what we were going to order or what we were about to eat.

On the drive to the restaurant Tony could only talk about one thing. How one thing he wanted out of the evening was to be able speak to someone from Ethiopia at the restaurant. I know you don't normally walk into a chinese restaurant and ask to speak to someone from China but it's true that mostly chinese people work there. I hadn't thought the same about the Ethiopian restaurant. However, as soon as we walked in the door Tony was on a mission. Once we were seated and the waitress came for our drink order he started, "Are you from Ethiopia." Now my husband will admit that he is the king of awkward and I've just learned to love and accept it, but at the moment I was a little more than slightly embarrassed. Now yes, our waitress did look as though she was from another country and did have an accent but from looking at her I could tell she was NOT from Ethiopia. Her response to Tony's question was, "Do I look like I'm from Ethiopia?" Then my face turned another shade of red from the previous one. I don't remember what he said to reply but she went on to explain that she was from Nepal. Yep, just a little bit different from Ethiopia. Tony didn't mind the awkwardness one bit and just went on to ask if we could speak to someone from Ethiopia, even the owner if we could. She looked at us like we were crazy and said yes she would bring the owner out when she could. After our almost 2 hour dinner we knew the owner wasn't coming. Needless to say Tony was a little disappointed but I was just happy to have eaten some good food with my husband and to not be embarrassed anymore for the night.

The food was delicious but not something I would crave all the time. A couple things I thoroughly enjoyed about it was the organic freshness of the food. I completely stuffed myself while there but didn't feel sick or gross when leaving. It's hard to actually leave a restaurant feeling healthier than when you walked in. The second thing I liked was the spongy bread we used to pick up our food with. It didn't have much flavor but was a fun way of eating and just added a little something special to the meal.

I would love to go back to that restaurant again and bring some more family and friends for the experience. As for speaking with an Ethiopian I know that our time will come and is coming very very soon!

Nesting

Nest: A container or shelter made by a bird out of twigs, grass, or other material to hold its eggs and young.

Nesting:To create and settle into a warm and secure refuge.

While waiting for the boys I have began the nesting process. I am excited to create a warm and secure refuge for them to come home to! I'm thankful for the home that we have and thankful for the boys that will soon be apart of our home. I'm sure it'll be a tad different when they get here, but I'm excited to hear little feet running through the halls, a sound machine when their sleeping, lots of balls bouncing on the hardwood floors, and laughs and cries coming from their room. It's been fun to start decorating, collecting, and somewhat preparing to have them in our home! Here's a few pictures from our nesting process. More will come in time.

T-shirts our Agency sent us.

I bought some clothes from a lady through a friend of a friend for a dollar! These were one of my favorite purchases.

Some of their toy collection. The monkeys came from our agency and the football from my good friend J-Multiple!

Ellis' pillow for when he's a big boy.

Still haven't figured out exactly what I'm doing with this but hopefully it'll look cool when i'm finished with it. It'll go in the boys room.

Tony's Birthday present.

The start of their book collection.

Bedding and Monkeys.

My mom helped me paint their room. The stripes turned out really nice above the Wainscoting.

Abram's pillow. :)

The Flood Gates have opened...

When talking about "the Flood Gates" I am referring to my emotions. If you know me you know I'm not very emotional. I've been referred to as even-killed, melancholy, and even been compared to the Winnie the Pooh character Eeyore. That could be taken as boring which may be true but I like to think I'm just not easily angered or excited, and when I am I usually have a hard time showing either of those emotions. However, there are a few things that really tug at my heart and can always bring a tear or multiple tears to my eyes. Thankfully this adoption is one of those things. It brings me hope in knowing my heart is in it. For a while I was trying to suppress any and all emotion I had toward the process. Waiting is hard because you know who your children are going to be, you want to start preparing for them, you want to be with them, know them, and love them, but at the same time you don't know when you will have the opportunity to do so. Because of that I've been trying to "guard my heart" from fear of not knowing. I've tried not to think about the adoption very often, I didn't look at their pictures every day, I haven't done a lot to prepare and I simply cannot watch their videos anymore without crying my eyes out. But doing all of these things scared me. It scared me that I was hardening my heart towards the adoption and the children and scared me that I would have the same hard heart when they got here.

A couple weeks ago at church I started attending a Women's Bible Study. It was the first night of the study so we always go around with introductions and talk a little about ourselves. Well It was a large group of ladies and I was the second to last to go. As I was listening to everyone talk about what they do and what their families are like I knew it was soon going to be my turn and I was soon going to talk about the adoption process. Well from the second person on I felt the tears welling up inside of me. I thought, Oh No, here it comes. I'm not a big cryer in general and I for sure do not enjoy crying in front of others. The whole time people were going around talking about themselves I was trying not to think about the adoption and praying to God that I wouldn't start crying. After all this was the first Bible study and I didn't want people to think I'm a crazy emotional person and we were only doing introductions, we weren't even talking about anything. Well it got around to me and I started off pretty well. I talked about being married to Tony and what we do on Campus and then just simply said we are currently in the process of adopting two little boys from Ethiopia, then I decided to add the statement, "and it's currently very hard," and there it was. The tears just started to flow. I didn't know what else to say, then I tried to make a joke or something to make it a little less awkward that I was crying so hard around several people of whom I'd never met and was only introducing myself.

Thankfully there were several other adoptive mothers in the room who knew exactly what I was going through and were able to have some sympathy tears and able to help me think through the process better after the study was over. One conversation in particular has had a big impact on how I can think for the children right now and helped me not be so scared that I'm not going to love them when they get here.

One lady in particular whom I respect and look up to very much asked me afterward how I was doing and what was going on in the process. This became an wonderful opportunity for me to unleash all of my thoughts and questions and feelings. There were a couple things she really helped me think about.

1. It may be hard now but that will make it easier when they come. She told me about the difference between her and her husband during the waiting time. She said it was very hard and emotional for him during the waiting process. He wanted to be with them, know how they were and it almost made him sick thinking about it. She on the other hand didn't have a lot of time to think about it because she was busy taking care of the kids they already had and didn't really think about it very often. The hope came when she said, when they got here it was an easier transition for her husband than it was for her. He had been waiting so long and longing for them so much that it made the difficulties of transitioning them into the family not a big deal and he just loved having them. On the other hand it was a shock to her because she hadn't had sufficient time to prepare. This gives me hope in knowing the waiting and emotions and difficulties now are going to be outweighed when they are actually here.

2. The second thing she helped me see was that God loves the boys more than I do and He can take care of them much better than I ever will. One thing that is so hard for me is wanting to be the one to feed them and hold them and take care of them when they are sick or when they cry. We received some pictures of the boys and Abram (the oldest) was crying and looked like he was pulling on his ear. He had a fever during that time and it gave me a longing to be the one to love him and take him to the doctor and give him his medicine. She helped me think about everything God has already done for them and how he is helping them now. They are no longer in the poverty where they came from. They now have food to eat, a place to lay their head, and people who are loving them, spending time with them, and giving them the medical attention that they need.

That night at church helped me realize that I should've live in fear but in faith. I don't need to guard my heart from those boys because I know that whatever God has planned is going to be the best for us and for them. I look forward to the day when I will be able to hold them, play with them, and feed them. But until then I know and pray that God will provide for them, comfort them when they are sad, and love them with the same unconditional love he very mercifully gives me everyday.

"Though our outer nature is wasting away our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is creating for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. For we look to the things not seen, for the things which are seen are temporary but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Why Ethiopia?

We often get asked why we chose to adopt from Ethiopia. It's usually just a question of curiosity and sometimes I think people expect us to have a life changing answer but the truth is it wasn't a very hard or thought out decision for us to make. The decision that took the longest for us was to adopt in the first place and then in about one weeks time we decided Ethiopia. The first decision we made was to rescue some orphans, the second decision was international vs. domestic, and the third was what country.

There are two things that really motivate much of mine and Tony's lives. Those two things are the gospel (good news of Christ) and people hearing the gospel. Our lives have been changed from hearing and are motivated by this as well. This is one reason why we have a heart for the world. I've often talked to Tony about moving overseas and even tried to talk him into moving to Peru for a little while. But I know God has us where we are for a reason and I'm content with that. However, if we can't move to another country then maybe we can bring a little part of another country into our home! This was one of the main reasons why we chose international adoption. I know there is a need in the U.S. and hopefully one day we will be able to adopt locally as well. But there is also an overwhelming need in Ethiopia and Africa in general. Check out The Facts page.

Some other things that affected our decision were the price, timeline, and requirements needed to adopt. These are all things to consider when choosing international adoption. Ethiopia was "cheaper", much faster, and we met all of the age and married requirements. We also know several families that have adopted from Ethiopia who can help us through the process and be friends with our kids one day!

We got Boys!!!

The time has come to announce the future Mr. Wells' we hope to have joining our family soon. After about a 6 week waiting period we got a referral for two brothers. An approx. 2 month old and 3 year old. Our social worker had traveled to Ethiopia and when she got there sent us an email about the boys. I told Tony I didn't want to see any pictures until it was a done deal so we asked for more information without pictures. Well, we didn't hear back from her for a while because her computer broke during her two weeks in Ethiopia.

It was hard not to be anxious but was actually a good two weeks to take time to pray, and talk, and not feel rushed during this process. When the two weeks were over she emailed us again with more information about the boys and Tony asked me, "What do you want to do." By this time I was excited and ready to say, Yes! Let's take them if we can. Then to my surprise Tony said well here you go, turned the computer around and I saw the two beautiful boys we'd been praying for. Tony isn't usually good at keeping secrets from me but he had been looking at these two boys the whole time we were praying for them.

After saying yes we had to wait another couple of weeks to wait on their medical records. After receiving those we are able to put our paperwork with theirs and get a court date. As of now we are waiting on a court date and praying for the health of the boys. Both of them were very malnourished and have a few minor health issues that need to be taken care of. I trust and pray that they will be healthy but have to say I wish I could be with them during this process. We are hoping to get a court date at the latest in February and hoping to bring them home in April. Please keep the boys in your prayers. If you'd like to pray for them by name we're thinking that Abram and Ellis sound pretty good! We cannot post pictures until they are home with us in Georgetown but I thought it'd be ok to add a little teaser to this post!