As wonderful as this trip was it was somewhat bittersweet. It was almost so enjoyable that I had feelings of sadness when I thought we weren't going to be on summer project this year or that we'd not be taking trips exactly like this again. I knew that our next trip to the beach was going to be a little bit different because it wasn't just going to be Tony and I anymore. Next time we go to the beach there are going to be two little additions to our family. Of course that brings excitement to our hearts and thoughts but if I'm being honest I had thoughts about things I wouldn't be able to do next time we go to the beach. I questioned things like when would I be able to sleep in again, or go for a jog in the morning, or go lay out on the beach all day long. I felt a little selfish at having the luxury of doing that already but found myself thinking and counting down the years until I would be able to do those things again. As selfish as that seems it did cross my mind a time or two.
The good thing is, those things like sleeping in, laying on the beach, and running aren't what I find my joy and satisfaction in. The satisfaction and joy in my life truly come from my relationship with Christ. This is what I kept being reminded of on this trip. I kept remembering the gospel and the call of it on mine and Tony's lives. I kept remembering the promises from Gods word of how we will rest in heaven, how his plan and purposes for our lives are good, and how his steadfast love for us will never end! That brings me reassurance in knowing that these boys are going to be a gift from God. Even though I may no longer have the luxury of sleeping in for the next 10 years, Gods' plan is good and right and we are going to have an unimaginable joy from living, loving, and learning with our boys! I left the end of the week more ready than I've ever been to go meet them and be with them til we grow old. I left the week refreshed, excited, encouraged, and loved by the creator who won't leave us or forsake us but will give us strength and comfort, and etc, I could go on and on and on again. Anyway, I'm so thankful for a creator that loves me and that has planned this adoption from the beginning. I know He's brought us this far and isn't going to leave us now. So here we go! It's time to start packing cause Ethiopia here we come!
These women are an answer to prayers we've been praying for years. Some of them knew Christians, some of them old, all loving the gospel and loving Christ. I'm thankful for the friendships that we have and the encouragement that they are. I'm also thankful for the great help they will be when the boys are here and how excited they are to babysit and to love on them soon!
Lucky for me this guy is ready for some kids to play with!
Oh Liz, I thought these EXACT same thoughts when we found out we were pregnant with Grayson. I was anxious, worried, and saddened by the loss of our freedom... until I held him. I can honestly tell you that while our trip to the beach was different, it was INFINITELY better with Grayson there. Watching him play in the sand and squeal when the water touched his feet?! Priceless. We took him out in the stroller every day and even took turns sleeping in. Things aren't always perfect, and even as I type, Grayson is running off with the mouse, but I promise--you won't trade those boys for any amount of running or sleep after you hold them the first time!! :o)
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