I knew it was going to be a hard day because it was a Sunday. We were going to church and there was going to be a baby dedication and I was going to see people I love and people that love me and I knew they were going to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. All wonderful and beautiful things yet all things I knew were going to make me cry. So that's what I did. I held it in as much as I could but spent a lot of the day in tears being thankful to be a Mom but sad that I couldn't be with my boys at the time.
Now that we've had the boys for a year, days like last Mothers Day seem so insignificant. I had hard days through the adoption process but being with the boys makes it feel like it was nothing. What I thought seemed like the hardest thing I'd ever done now seems like no big deal. I think about this good news trumping bad news kind of thing in a lot of areas in my life. Probably all. But especially in Mothering. Sometimes I feel isolated, without purpose, lacking in knowledge, and exhausted. But at the same time I can't rid of the peace and joy that comes from knowing I'm doing what I was created to do. I know that ultimately God is in control of their lives and if I'm being faithful than that's all I can do.
Tony and the boys made me feel incredibly loved and special on Mother's Day. Being showered with their gifts and love and just spending time with them made it such a special day! I only spent about 1 minute thinking about last Mother's Day. I was able to think about it with a happy heart knowing that's what it had to take to have a Mother's Day like this one. Sometimes we have to go through the hard things to get the greatest things in life. This has brought new meaning to one of my favorite verses in scripture, "God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28...I truly feel like I could go through anything and know that God is working in it for my good. These past two years have been a testimony to that. Thank you Lord for being my salvation and my joy and working for the good in my life.